Ride the Lightning rss

As a follow-up to my previous Christmas odyssey report, here’s something I just wrote for family members but now figure, eh, may as well let the whole world what a moron I am when it comes to cars. But, then again, so are at least a few other people who get paid to look under their hoods and take care of people like me.

My brother never did get a plane back to Kansas. Northwest Airlines, go to hell and die.

Continue reading Ride the Lightning…


I Am (Bacon) Legend rss

Go see that new Will Smith movie. A few fresh reactions, with some spoilers later on.

Continue reading I Am (Bacon) Legend…


Roooooocks-anne rss

I’ve pretty much already written about this, but after seeing Gamespot’s report about Rock Band’s downloadable content, I’m not sure if practical jokes aren’t part of Harmonix’s business plan.

Yeah, those are worthy songs, particularly the Metallica and Black Sabbath ones. I think they could call the Dec. 18 pack the “navel-gazers,” but that might give people the wrong idea. That’s not what I’m talking about.

Look at the Police pack, which is already out.

Look at the third song.

Motherfucking “Roxanne.”

Yeah, I know part of the appeal of this game overlaps with the desire to sing along at concerts and possibly even karaoke, and maybe bring your buddy’s girl/guy-friend in on the mic because s/he might not be able to play the toy guitar or drums. But does no one remember the “Elevator Fans” skit on Saturday Night Live with Sting, Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey? I’m linking the script because I couldn’t find a video of it as an example of what I’m talking about.

I won’t say “thankfully,” but four Rock Band fans have already produced an example of what I was talking about. And like Yahtzee and Halo 3, I want everyone to know that I fucking called it.


wtf, Second Life rss

OK, so I try not to have a hangup about the comments I don’t get on most of my posts here, but why the hell is it that this year-old post with the first of Warren Ellis’ Reuters-commissioned columns about the wretchedness of Second Life is still getting replies?

Is that post linked from some other site? It’s not like I wrote the column, I just linked to it. Is it still important enough to people that they reiterate that it Second Life, despite its innovative approach to letting otherwise normal people revel in their perversion and obsessive button-mashers pretend to be creative geniuses, probably sucks just as much as it ever did?

Do I need to admit to the world that I’ve never actually used (”played” is probably the wrong word) Second Life?

I’m not mad, I just think it’s weird.


Considerable Alan Moore rss

If anyone didn’t see last night’s Simpsons episode with Alan Moore, Art Spiegelman and Dan Clowes, you missed a great one-third of an episode. Thankfully, I took pictures.

Consider, however, that Moore did his voiceover almost a year ago, which means he did it before this Robert Anton Wilson reading, which he did in March. Warning: About as appropriate for work as Lost Girls is for real children.


Pandora’s Orange Box rss

I’ve had four or five offers to take Half-Life 2 and/or HL2:Episode 1. If you already purchased those games before buying The Orange Box, which includes those two plus three other games that are still a pretty good deal for about $50, Valve will let you “gift” them to someone else through Steam. I expect many gamers are going to have to find friends who never played HL2 before but suddenly want to (beyond most people, including myself) or they’re going to eternally have the “1 Gift” highlighted on their Steam panel.

“Still Alive” is a wonderful little song of robotic abandon and cheery indifference. It’s a Jonathan Coulton joint, the “Code Monkey” and “Re: Your Brains” guy, though he’s reluctant to take public credit for it yet, even though his visitors already know what he did. (Don’t watch the video if you don’t want spoilers to the end of Portal, but you might be tempted anyway.)


My life in miniature rss

Been busy. Bullet points:

  • Team Fortress 2 is a whole lot of fun, even if you’re not doing things quite as intended. “As intended” is still a pretty fluid concept, after all, as the game is very much in beta. Hell yes I dropped $45 for preordering five different games, even if I already have two of them.
  • Gamecock’s first game, Dementium: The Ward, apparently turns you gay, according to the commercial for it. (Dude, when you’re in a hot tub with two bikini babes on your arms, put down the fucking game.)
  • Watched enough YouTube videos to know I have no interest in going back to Bioshock. Achievements be damned. I like games that don’t make me want to die.
  • I’m really getting tired of the IGDA forums. If it wasn’t for the occasional douchebag, there would be nothing there for me. Despite appearances, I really don’t enjoy being a jerk, no matter how full of assholes the Internet is.
  • Burn Notice is an excellent show. MacGyver if he was a near-sociopath ex-spy, Rockford Files if he was a lot smarter, smoother and more resourceful.
  • Yeah, if my dad was an astronaut, I’d pretty much have to get into space, too. Don’t know about the castle, though.
  • Oh, and advertising occasionally works on me, and I’ll allow myself to anticipate entertainment. Mac Lethal’s new album on the Rhymesayers label is coming out later this month, and I’ll probably buy it. He’s from Kansas City. Represent.

WIGI, Kappa Mikey rss

Just filed my report for a certain major gaming Webzine on the Women In Games International (and it is permissible to say “wiggy”) meet in Austin on Saturday. It ran a little long, I had to leave a bunch of stuff out, I got distracted again, I had to go to my day job…

And then I had to find this on Nicktoons this morning, several early episodes in a row, in fact. I can’t explain why I watched three in a row, including the pilot, but maybe I was just in a forgiving mood. Once you get past the fact that Kappa Mikey looks really bad, that is to say cheap as hell and shameless, and is meant to, it has a seriously infectious charm. It’s just that I’m still hung up about admitting that, even to you Intarwub nerds.

The premise of the show is that a kid from Cleveland, Mikey, who wants to be an actor but isn’t especially talented, gets a random chance from a scratch-off ticket to star in LilyMu, a Japanese TV show. Only when he gets to Japan, he finds that in “reality,” the country is some bizarre amalgam of every awful Japanese cartoon series that has washed up on American shores in the past 20-odd years. Girls with blue hair, giant robots and monsters, super-exaggerated social mores and emotional reactions, all that and a little talking purple chinchilla who might just be a guy in a suit, but no one knows for sure. And the show he stars in is pretty much every Japanese super-group show stereotype run through a blender. Except that since Mikey’s an American, he doesn’t have all the weird Japanese cartoon emotive tricks like sweatdrops and super-deformity.

A more perfect send-up of every god-awful anime Americans have had to suffer through for the sake of the freak crowd not committing self-sacrifice, as well as every American cartoon production going out of its way to look like they came from Japan (though they were probably animated in Korea anyway) could not be devised. At least, nothing this subtle. Once the initial sting of watching terrible Flash animation wears off, this is definitely worth watching. They even got a real j-rock band to do the opening title.

Anyway, hopefully the WiGI article will be up sometime soon. I’m sure you’ll all find something to watch.


Birds and the bees rss

Guess who’s back, back again.

Her site looks way better than mine. And she might be motivated to talk every so often, at least until her new job starts (and no, I don’t know where it is, I just don’t believe she’d bail on the evil empire before lining something else up.)


Meet the Heavy Weapons Guy rss

For almost the past year, the only game I’ve been looking forward to has been Team Fortress 2.

This pretty much shows why. Cry some more.

Here’s a great review. Apparently it’s really, really gory. Cartoonishly so, but still gory.


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